Saturday, May 10

Reality is Overrated, Rare

Adobe Photoshop is the gold standard for image manipulation, adjustment and output. Others have come and gone and the Adobe juggernaut keeps rolling. I've been working professionally with Adobe Photoshop since version 2.something. I have done Photoshop on demand for clients, employers and friends for many years. Having said all that, it is with a sense of fear and embarrassment, and even a bit of schadenfreude, that I serve up a couple of Photoshop sites.

Let's get the scary-disturbing part out of the way first: - Dad?

ManBabies. Images of babies in their natural habitat with men's heads pixel-grafted on the infant/toddler bodies. Much of the Photoshop work is sort of well-done, but I think there is something decidedly creepy about this. Maybe it's just me.

Now for the schadenfreude.

Photoshop Disasters is a compendium of submitted links and images that were just plain manipulated badly. You'll see lots of images like the one above, where the grafting of various frames from a photo shoot - without thought regarding perspective - results in an otherwise semi-normal Rachel Bilson transformed into the tiny-legged mutant shown above. Most of the Photoshop Fuck-ups on display at Photoshop Disasters were produced by artists (!) hired by production companies and ad agencies. This makes it all the more tragic. Deadlines are short, budgets shrink and then no one looks at the final image before it gets sent off to six billion people. WTF?

The funny part is that the tinsel-heads, the people with the least to offer the world and the keepers of planet-sized egos, willingly put their public image in the hands of hacks. The Bilson image above is even on her official web site.

The first big lesson here is "Don't believe every freaking thing you see, Dorothy."

I have had dozens of seemingly normal friends and relatives send me this half-baked image, oohing and aahing at the incredible shark attack photo. Even if you're not as dumb as a box of Chiclets, you ought to at least be skeptical enough to look it up, whistle-head.

This was another beauty, right after the tragic events of 9/11. People are stupid. My advice is to cash in on it whenever possible. It's just natural selection taken to its natural conclusion. You'll be culling out the weak and the stupid.

The second lesson here is the "Just because you can do something, it doesn't mean you should." This is also the root of the admonition, "Just because they make it in your size doesn't mean you should wear it."

Thus spake the rabbit.

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